Time Cannot Erase
by SarahDemetae
Summary: Kaylin was good at her job. It's a good thing serving community service at the Halls of Law won't interfere with it. Chronicles of Elantra AU in which Kaylin ends up at Marren's Foundling Hall instead of the Hawklord's tower.
1. No attorneys to plead my case

It probably didn't help that Kaylin ran from the Hawks but, then again, neither did punching the young lordling in the face. The foundling halls weren't in the most gentile parts of town - a well aimed knee usually sufficed when a drunk felt particularly entitled - but the wandering hands of the entitled prat hadn't been going for her. They'd been going for Anita - Anita who was still too young, only new to the foundling halls, and had certainly had enough of men's hands. So, the punch.

'Corporal Danelle has charged you with both assault and resisting arrest'. The bristling leontine in front of her made it sound like a question - that was a trap. Kaylin knew from living with a Leontine matriarch to say nothing when eyes were that shade of orange. Then again, she really needed to know that Anita made it back to the foundling halls.

'Sir,' He growled. She paused long enough to make sure the growl wouldn't become a lunge for the throat. 'Sir, did the young girl who was with me make it to the Foundling halls okay?' He was a Leontine and understood sticking your neck out for someone in the pridelea - that might have been all that saved her neck for speaking out.

'While your arresting officer was charging you, and her partner escorting your friend home, it appears the alleged victim went on his way.' At Kaylin's blank look, he continued 'Without his testimony, we aren't under an obligation to detain you - unless he comes forward and identifies you'.

Kaylin adjusted the stick in her hair. It had been falling out for fifteen minutes, but until then her arms felt glued to her sides. The man she punched didn't know her name - Kaylin wondered if he had assumed the world would arrange itself to his liking and dump her in jail without any effort on his part. It also seemed the Hawks who arrested her hadn't followed through on seeking evidence to make their charges stand up. 'Thank you, Seargeant Kassan'. On reflection, the Hawks may have marched her around the corner with stern looks, and given her a pat on the back once out of sight. Had she not run.

Her arresting officers were Barranni - maybe they found it insulting that she, a human, thought to outrun them. It was the opinion of the Barranni who picked her up when she was thirteen and living on the streets of the city, depositing her at the foundling hall on the order of the same leontine she sat in front of now. It could have even been the same two Barranni, she couldn't tell them apart.

The relief must have shown on her face too soon - he continued: 'We're letting you off with community service. You're to attend the Halls of Law two days every week for six months, for whatever use we can make of to Caitlin, by the door, and she will let you know when you'll be needed. You were one of Marrin's girls?' She nodded. 'I'll let your Mrynn know the situation'.

Locking her up may have been kinder. At least then, she'd have a good reason not to listen to a disappointed leontine den mother lecture her next time she showed her face at the halls. Leontine disappointment was worse than leontine anger - droopy whiskers were far better at eliciting feelings of guilt.

Still, said den mother had raised her to be polite, Kaylin responded with a more subdued 'Thank you, Sargeant Kassan'.

Kaylin discussed her schedule with the Hawk that Marcus has gestured to, on her way out of the office - she was required during the days, but she was able to pick ones that didn't interfere with her night shifts at the midwifes' guild - and walked out on to the slightly-too-clean-for-comfort streets.

Kaylin briefly considered going straight to her apartment - the dingy little room above the bar she used to to work at when she was an apprentice midwife, and after to make ends meet - but the Leontine Sargeant's assurances aside, she needed to check on Anita.

The walk to the foundling halls was a long one. Kaylin wondered at the wisdom of putting the Halls of Law near all the rich folk, and far from all the crime. The Halls of Law were visible from the riverside like everywhere else in the city, but not quite close enough to draw the eye. Nestor street was home to the Foundling hall, and ran along one side of the Ablayne river. Theoretically it was well within the city limits, but practically it was almost at the boundary of the city and the fiefs.

You could see the Halls of Law from the fiefs too - not that it made much difference. She hadn't moved all to far from the streets of her youth.

She turned into the pathway leading to the Foundling Hall. The grounds were gated but hadn't been locked for the night. The gates were to keep mischievous children in, the latch just out of reach of those too young to know better. The locks were to keep predators out. Marrin learnt the hard way that she alone was not enough to defend her pridelea.

Kaylin walked the path to the sprawling three storey building. She noticed the gutters were starting to clog with leaves - she'd have to remind one of the older boys to get up there an clean them out. Sid had left the halls not long after her, and become a carpenter - he should have a ladder long enough and a mind muddled enough to climb up there.

She pushed open the door leading to the main hall - a grand receiving hall for the old owner, turned lesson hall and play area for the children who now lived at the Hall. This is where Marrin taught children discarded by the world how to live in it anyway. Here, Kaylin learnt her letters and numbers. In the kitchens she learnt to cook - often by burning her hands - and in the markets the older children taught her how to bargain and keep a budget. There weren't enough volunteers, so everyone pitched in at the halls, learnt how to survive outside them, and paid back their dues by coming back to help out and setting aside what they could.

Classes finished early that day so shopping could be done at the market - the reason Kaylin had been escorting Anita in the first place - and the entrance hall was now empty but for a downtrodden looking Anita and a bristling Marrin.

When the young girl caught sight of Kaylin, she shot to her feet and wrapped her arms around Kaylin's waist in seconds. She started babbling 'I'm so glad you're okay. I'm so sorry. I should have stayed closer to you. I'm not going out to the markets again it'll be okay'.

'Hey hey, none of that, shh'. Kaylin wrapped her arms around the girl and rocked gently to each side. She felt guilt for her actions for the first time. If she hadn't acted so rashly, the young girl wouldn't be in such a state. 'We'll be off to the markets again next week, and this time we'll take John with us'. Anita had adored the older foundling since he'd rescued her from the bullying of a few city kids.

Kaylin remembered what it was like to trust someone so completely. It hadn't worked out for her, but she didn't think John had it in him to let Anita down.

'Oh...okay' Anita snuffled. She was at the age where she was starting to hide her tears. Kaylin wished it wasn't necessary, but the world wasn't kind to those who wore their emotions openly.

Marrin's voice could convey comfort in a way Kaylin's couldn't. 'Why don't you go wash up for dinner?' she purred.

The warmth in her tone disappeared once Anita left the room. The purr became a growl. 'How could you be so foolish?'

Kaylin showed her throat. She had already dealt with one angry Leontine that day. 'I reacted without thinking.' Marrin's continued growling showed excuses weren't going to cut it. 'He was being a lout and Anita needs to know there are people who will stand up for her'. The rumble in in Marrin's throat continued. 'I'm sorry'.

The growling stopped. Marrin sighed instead. 'I know. But "sorry" doesn't fix anything. You'll be at the Halls of Law from now on, regularly. A single slip is all it would take to bring the Emperor's wrath down on your head'.

Kaylin knew what Marrin left unsaid. On all our heads.

'I'll stay out of trouble'.

Marrin didn't acknowledge her last comment. 'You're already here. Stay for dinner'.

* * *

It was lucky that the midwives were able to find Kaylin at the foundling hall when she stayed the night. The sound of someone yelling through her mirror woke the landlord, who mirrored Marrin to complain about Kaylin.

It was unlucky that staying at the Foundling halls put Kaylin twice as far from the house she needed to get to than if she'd stayed at home.

Kaylin ran - she spent a lot of her evenings running. The evenings she was on call at the guild were filled with jogging to a labouring mother's house, with plenty of time to set up the birthing room to welcome a baby into the world. The evenings she wasn't on call, but had to run anyway, were the worst. Not because she needed to run flat out with air burning her lungs in the pitch black of night without warning, but because of what would happen if she didn't. Kaylin only got called when she was off duty if something went very wrong.

Kaylin pounded on the door of the house she had been directed to, and swept past the white-faced man who opened it. On a normal night she'd reassure him. Tonight there was no time.

'Up here!' yelled Bridget, the senior midwife on duty that night. She was with Gabrielle, one of the apprentices, and an unconscious mother-to-be. Not good. Bridget turned to Gabrielle 'Take the father downstairs, close the door behind you.'

The first thing an apprentice learnt was do what a more senior midwife told you.

Kaylin looked at the room - things had happened too fast for everything to be prepared. Kaylin lay her hand against the basin of cool water, waited until steam rose from the surface, and got to work.

* * *

**A/N:**

Hello lovely people! It has been a very long time since I wrote fanfiction - so long that I lost my old account.

This story worked its way into my brain, and got me excited about writing again. There are a lot of interesting changes that come about when Kaylin isn't raised in the Hawks, and that's what I'm going to explore. You already see a few in this chapter, with plenty more to come.

Will Kaylin be able to keep her secret? How much control does she have of her power? Can the author maintain her current determination to write a complete fanfiction? Who knows!

Comment if you know which song the story title came from!


	2. Your eyes and they are full of fire

Kaylin was in no hurry to get to the Halls of Law. She bought two sweetcakes from the street vendor a street over from her apartment, and he gave her a third for free - she had helped birth his first and third child, thankfully without needing any magic.

Her meandering took her past a few taverns she frequented with the younger midwives on an evening off. Kale was already out the front of the Wild Brumby, hauling kegs off a wagon, and as she passed by he grabbed her by the waist and swung her over his shoulder like a sack of flour.

Her laugh was a bit breathy with his shoulder in her stomach, but she managed one anyway. 'Put me down you idiot!'

He started carrying her up the street in the direction she was walking. 'Can't do that Miss. You took a nasty spill off that table a week ago. Shouldn't be on your feet.' He continued to the street corner before depositing her back on the ground. 'Business in the upper city?'

She shaded her eyes to look up at him 'Got caught punching some caste court darling. Serving my time filing paperwork at the Halls of Law'.

He put his hand on his chest, 'The lengths you will go to to bring someone down a notch are truly awe-inspiring.'

She started on her way before shouting over her shoulder 'Well, I still haven't managed to put a dent in your ego.'

The familiar faces grew fewer as she approached the Halls of Law, and she started to sweat. The long sleeves of her dress, though made out of the lightest fabric she could afford, were not made for summer. She nodded at the two guards, an Aerian and a human, and made her way into the office.

Her work was never the same at the Halls of Law, but it was invariably boring. She was put on the inquiry desk to start, before they realised Kaylin had low tolerance for idiots - and was willing to take it out on said idiots.

She was then put on filing, which she did slowly while eavesdropping on the conversations going on around her. She didn't pick up much of interest, beyond the usual workplace gossip, because if the Hawks wished to discuss anything sensitive while she was around, they only needed to switch to speaking Barranni. She picked up an understanding of the Baranni alphabet, to add to her meagre vocabulary of fief Barrani - in her youth, it had been useful to know if one of the fieflord's thugs yelled "grab her".

Kaylin picked up a surprising trade in doing first aid, making use of her training as a midwife. She hadn't met Sargeant Moran, who was in charge of the infirmary, but suspected Moran's tolerance for idiots was even lower than her own. Kaylin patched minor injuries she could reasonably dealt with from a first aid kit, to save those Hawks the embarrassment of explaining, for example, that they were cut while juggling knives. Three times she was forced to put her foot down when Hawks pushed her to take care of injuries too severe for the tools she had available - once a thwack from Teela, the Baranni corporal who arrested her, was needed to send a young private on his way to the infirmary.

At the end of the day, Kaylin was sewing closed a cut for Clint, the Aerian who had guarded the door that morning, when she ran out of gauze. She was also low on a few other things. His face was drawn with the pain - his hand was caught in the heavy entrance doors, and the surrounding bruising was bad. Kaylin didn't think he'd broken his hand.

'I'm sorry, I've run out of some of the supplies I need.' He didn't respond. 'You'll have to go to the infirmary, and Sargeant Moran can fix you up.' Her words seemed to register slowly, which was odd in someone she was used to seeing alert.

Kaylin was concerned that he might not go to the infirmary if left to his own devices, and she needed to restock the first aid kit. She touched him on the shoulder, and his wings flared as if startled. 'I'll come with you.'

She led the way towards the corridors that connected to Hawklord's Tower to the Swordlord's tower, which is where she presumed the infirmary was located - it was the direction she pointed when staring down stubborn, seriously injured patients. After the second wrong turn, Clint took the lead.

The infirmary was not a comforting place. Maybe because the beds looked closer to benches, but Kaylin privately thought it was the expression on Sargeant Moran's face.

She took one look at Clint, and nodded her head to one of the beds. 'Sit down'.

Kaylin wasn't sure what to do while Moran dealt with Clint. Moran must have had the same thought. 'What are you doing here?'

'I just came to restock the office's first aid kit.' Kaylin held up the depleted box for inspection.

'Hmm'. Moran pursed her lips. 'Before you go, hold his hand in the position it needs to be bandaged in'.

Kaylin walked over to where Clint was sitting, and picked up his hand. She rotated his wrist into a neutral position, and flattened his palm so there was space between his thumb and the rest of his fingers. She held his hand by his fingers and wrist while Moran bandaged it, and once Moran was finished Kaylin pressed down on one of Clint's fingernails to check his circulation hadn't been cut off. Moran kept an eye on her the entire time.

Moran put away all the materials, and pulled out a small vial. She put three drops in a glass of water, and gave it to Clint to drink. Kaylin was surprised - Clint would be in some pain, but it would be bearable. Moran didn't seem the type to use precious painkillers on those who brought it upon themselves.

Once Clint downed the drink, Moran briefly clasped his shoulder. 'Worrying yourself into an early grave won't help her.' Clint nodded, got up and left.

Kaylin was sure she was missing something. She didn't get long to ponder it before Moran asked, 'What is the first aid kit low in?'

'Bandages, disinfectant, gloves and medical thread.'

Moran started pulling those things from the cupboards. 'Hmm. I haven't had to restock that kit in five years. Are you behind the sudden decline in idiots coming to my door?'

Kaylin felt a trap looming. Nothing annoyed a doctor more than their patients being misdiagnosed by a well-meaning stranger. 'Only the ones that can appropriately be dealt with using first aid. It's part of our training as midwives.'

'Surely first aid is different from what you need to know for a birth?'

'We apprentice for six months with the nurses guild, just as they do six months with us. Plenty of fathers faint and split their head open, see.'

'Well you did well referring Ferris and Anders to me. Clint too. Keep your kit more up to date in future.'

Kaylin took a deep breath. She wasn't going to get in trouble for playing in someone else's patch.

There was one thing she was still unsure about. 'Did Clint break his hand? I thought it was just bruised, and that wouldn't need a painkiller…'

'I didn't give him a painkiller, just a very weak calming drought. He likely smashed his hand in the first place because his wife is in labour.' She paused and looked at Kaylin. 'It's been a long one, and it isn't going well.'

'Oh.' Kaylin didn't know what to say. She couldn't offer her help in any official capacity as a midwife - the Aerians had their own.

Moran sighed. 'Sometimes the fates are cruel and there's nothing to be done. I'm sure you know that better than most. Give Clint his space.'

Kaylin nodded, and left the room with her newly re-stocked kit.

Kaylin had never accepted that there was nothing to be done, and she wasn't about to start.

* * *

Kaylin saw Clint as he was about to reach the Aerie, from which most of the Aerians flew out of the high windows to leave the building. She yelled out to stop him. 'Clint!'

She drew a few eyes, particularly from the keen-eared Baranni, but she got his attention which was what she was after. Once she was close enough, she more discreetly asked. 'Is there somewhere we can talk in private.' He still looked anxious to go. 'I can help'.

Hope and doubt warred on his face for another moment, before he gestured to one of the side rooms. It was full of a heavy dark table, with matching chairs that made sitting on the floor look comfortable. Paintings of what must have been important personages lined the walls. Most importantly, it had a heavy door that no-one could listen through. Once inside Clint started 'I appreciate that you want to help. I know you are a midwife, but we Aerians do have our own midwives. There's nothing you can do that they…'

'I can heal.'

Clint weighed those words up for a moment. Kaylin took the chance to continue. 'Please don't tell anyone. If you did, it would put me and those I care for in danger.'

'All healers are in direct service to the Emperor'.

'I know. That's why I keep it a secret. If I was serving the Emperor, and healing papercuts for whichever castelord is in favour, I couldn't work with the midwives and the people who actually need it!'

She could see Clint still had his doubts. She picked up his injured hand once again. 'What is your wife's name?'

He didn't answer until after she unwound the bandage on his hand to reveal smooth, unblemished skin. 'Sesti. Her name is Sesti.'

Clint's mind made up, they left the room. He lead her through the Aerie, leaving through the front doors and turning a corner into a secluded alley, before Clint spoke again. 'I can get you to the birthing caves, but you will have to make your own way in. Men aren't allowed.'

'I can do that' Kaylin said. 'How will you get me…'

Before she could finish, Clint swept an arm under her knees, and with another supporting her back, launched off into the night sky.

* * *

The word "cave" put Kalin in mind of dark, damp and glomy holes in the ground - not the best place to bring new life into the world. The Aerian birthing caves were anything but. Hewn into the sides of the cliff, they were open to the cold wind blowing across the plains, and connected by a series of paths cut into the rock. Talking her way into the Aerian birthing caves was easier than she thought. Clint vouched for her, all he could do since he could not join her. Kaylin said she could offer Sesti comfort, and that was enough for the Aerian midwives. It was a bad sign that they put up no further protest - a sign that they felt Sesti had gone beyond their help.

Sesti had very nearly gone beyond Kaylin's help. The midwives left them in privacy - they had patients that needed their time, and no one wanted an audience when a loved one was dying.

Sesti's breathing was shallow, she had a high temperature, and contractions were weakening. Kaylin placed one hand on the Aerian's brow, one on her stomach, and began her work.

First, Kaylin sent cool healing energy towards the mother and babe. He'd be a healthy boy if they got through this, but he was panicking, and fading. Kaylin didn't know what was wrong with the birth - she didn't know how an Aerian birth should look.

She had the same ludicrous thought as the first time she saw an Aerian. Where do you put the wings?

In desperation she reached out for the elemental water. Water was a part of every human birth, maybe it was also part of an Aerian one.

When she found the elemental water, it was not the aspect she needed. It was the water of turbulent seas, and the deep dark cold. She needed the water of the womb, and mother's milk. She needed the kind instead of the vicious. Pushing past the first aspect she encountered, she continued until she found what she was after - the warm water that had cradled all the babes ever born.

_What is wrong?_ She asked it.

The water answered not in words, but in sensations. She felt a tight cocoon of soft dark feathers.

Sesti's baby hadn't pulled together his wings, and couldn't get out of the birth canal. Kaylin sunk deeper into the healing, and began to see why. His wings were misshapen, and the joints hadn't formed properly. Kaylin got to work moulding them into the right shapes, the same ones his mother had.

The minute she was done with the wings, everything went like a normal birth. Kaylin kept providing strength to Sesti by holding her hand, and yelled for the midwives. After a minute, Sesti worked up the energy to start yelling herself, and the astonished Aerian midwives came to help Sesti's boy into the world.

The midwives may have thought it was a miracle. Sesti rested her head on Kaylin's shoulder, and Kaylin turned to look at her. The two of them smiled at each other, like it was they had an in-joke.

They even let Kaylin hold the baby once his feathers were cleaned up.

* * *

Kaylin fell into a rhythm with her new set of responsibilities. She worked her five shifts with the midwives, two days with the Hawks. One of those days overlapped, and left her exhausted at the end of the night shift, but it gave her a free market day she could use to take some of the foundlings out for the day.

Her work at the Halls of Law got no less boring, but much more bearable. She wasn't sure what explanation Clint gave Sargeant Kassan, but her only punishment for missing her community service the while she was recovering from Sesti's healing was a make-up day the next week, with no questions asked. She discovered that Clint had a good-natured sense of humor, and enjoyed pointing out just how late she was each morning. Taking their lead from Clint, most of the other mortals in the office would chat with her as they passed her desk, usually to procrastinate giving Iron Jaw news he didn't want to hear.

The Barrani, on the whole, remained aloof. She could see it was the way they treated all mortals, Hawk and civilian alike. There were two exceptions. Corporal Danelle - Teela - had, it turned out, arrested her twice. Most recently, she was the Barrani to cuff her for punching a member of the human caste court. She was also one of the Barrani who arrested her for her light fingers shortly after coming to the city. Teela's partner, Tain, followed Teela's lead.

Teela dropped by Kaylin's desk at random. Teela didn't fear giving Sargeant Kassan bad news, the primary motivation people had for talking too her, so this made Kaylin suspicious. She gathered from office gossip that it was a healthy attitude to have around the Baranni.

Kaylin also hadn't forgotten that Teela heard her call out to Clint on the day she healed his wife. She didn't doubt, given the slightest hint, the Barranni could put two and two together.

Teela sat herself down on the edge of Kaylin's desk. Anyone else with that posture would be slouching. 'So, I hear you frequent the Wild Brumby.'

Like most of her conversations with Teela, Kaylin wasn't sure where this was going. 'It's close to the midwives guild, we sometimes go after our shifts.'

'Excellent. I've been temporarily banned from my usual haunt, and I've chosen to honour it. Meet you at the Brumby after you're done here?'

Kaylin had visions of also being banned from her usual haunt because of Teela's antics. 'I can't do tonight - I've got a shift at the guild. Night of the next market day? The Brumby will be crowded, but we could meet at the Spotted Pig.'

Teela shrugged slipped off Kaylin's desk 'I'm not banned from there at the moment. See you next market day.' Teela sauntered out of the office to go harass some other poor mortal - hopefully one that had actually broken the law.

* * *

All and all, life was getting much more pleasant. Kaylin should have known it wouldn't last.

She had left the Halls and was on the way to the Guild when she realised that, in her rush to escape, she hadn't asked Clint what his son's name was. The naming day had been yesterday, and she wouldn't be in at the Halls for another four days.

She turned back in the direction of the Halls of Law, hurrying down the wide twilight-bathed streets when saw him.

Tall, despite a youth in the fiefs, and now with the bulk of someone well trained and well fed, he nodded at Clint as he walked into the Halls of Law with another man at his side. Neither of them wore obvious signs of who they worked for, but Kaylin could guess - well armed and armoured without a Lord to publicly claim them? Kaylin was shocked the fieflord's thugs came into the city, let alone the Halls of Law.

She wasn't sure why Severn was at the Halls of Law, but she knew he couldn't find her, or he might finish what he started seven years prior.


	3. I don't need your lies, or your truths

Kaylin had four days to think of a way to avoid Severn should he return to the Halls of Law while she was there. She came up with nothing but the desperate hope that the firelord's business was done, and he'd have no reason to return.

Her hope grew on the first day she was back at the Halls and saw no sign of him. She was so wary she got little done, which did not bother her much - she was sure the world wouldn't end if if Sargeant Kassan's paperwork pile remained un-filed for an extra day. It did bother Sargeant Kassan, whose growl at her slow pace caused her to jump and spill tea all over Caitlin's desk. Caitlin, who didn't have an angry bone in her body, was solicitous instead. 'Are you okay dear? You seem a bit wound up.'

Kaylin tried to lie, in the first instance 'Oh, no I'm fine.'

Caitlin seemed unconvinced. That was fair, Kaylin wouldn't have believed it either.

'I just ran into someone I used to know, and didn't expect to see.'

'Not a pleasant reunion?'

'Not really.'

Caitlin paused a moment. 'Ah. I see.'

Kaylin was unsure what there was to be seen in her statement. To stop herself revealing anything else, she took herself off to the other end of the room, as far away from tea mugs and inquisitive Hawks as she could manage, and did a good job of looking busy until she could leave.

Kaylin was more relaxed the next day she was at the Halls of Law and, tasked with the minutiae that kept the Halls running, she forgot to be cautious. She heard his voice coming from the entrance to the large room where the Hawks gathered and pretended to do paperwork.

Kaylin would recognise that voice anywhere. She had heard that voice, from the top of her head muffled through scant clothes and strong arms as she cried out her mother's death. She had heard it yell out a warning across an open streets, when ferals got too close to her, and he wanted to present a more appealing target. She had heard it whisper in a dark room when they didn't want to attract the attention of the brutes outside.

She didn't turn around.

Instead, she took the stick out of her hair. From behind she looked like a random stranger, perhaps dressed too warm for the weather in her long-sleeved dress.

She continued to file papers into the draw in front of her. She listened.

When Severn passed by her back, she tried to hear to what he was saying. He spoke in low tones so no-one would overhear. Kaylin had honed the skill of appearing boring and insignificant long ago, and they didn't shut up as they passed the only civilian in the office - but few humans spoke anything but Elantran, unless their job required it.

She had a meagre grasp of Baranni. She only picked up two words: "death" and "child".

Severn and the man he was talking to passed through the room and into the entrance of the Hawklord's tower.

Kaylin finished filing the paperwork in her hands, walked into the bathroom, and vomited.

* * *

Kaylin spent the rest of the day with her hair out and her head down - Severn did not reappear. She also took the earliest opportunity to leave the building, which was when Caitlin commented she "looked a little peaky."

She walked to her tiny flat, got into bed fully clothed, and pulled the blanket over her head.

Death. Child. Severn came from the fiefs.

It was happening again.

All of Kaylin's youth was dominated by death in the feifs. Death was a part of life for all mortals, but it was a day-to-day occurrence in the feifs. Always, the reasons were obvious - a feral, a thug, the feiflord's displeasure. Always, it was something you could avoid if you were cautious enough.

No amount of caution helped the children of the feifs after her marks appeared.

Kaylin curled herself into a tight ball on her side. Her breath felt warm against her face, trapped by the blanket. She remembered the way everyone waited with bated breath to see who it would be _this_ month. She remembered how those who should have been most secure - the fief version of wealthy, with a family and a permanent place to live - were just as likely to die as those sleeping under eaves.

She remembered how glad she was every month when it was someone else.

She remembered the time she would have traded places.

Kaylin thought of how powerless she was, and how scared it had made her. Kaylin thought of her anger as everything she loved was taken from her. Then she thought of fire, and every candle in the room flared to life.

She was a powerless child no longer.

* * *

Kaylin approached the end of her market day with dread. The day itself was lovely, and she took Catti out for the shopping. The streets were crowded, but no one had gotten in trouble this time.

Given that she agreed to go drinking with Teela, she wasn't sure she would stay out of trouble.

Kaylin went drinking with the midwives - it was a celebration of a day with no one lost. On occasions, it was a wake for those without anyone else to mourn them. In either instance, Kaylin was known for getting so pissed she danced on tables and kissed all the handsome men in the room.

And drunk Kaylin had a low bar for handsome.

She met Teela three hours after sunset, with a solid meal in her belly. Kaylin heard enough if the office gossip to know that Teela was about as restrained she was when it came to alcohol.

The bar she suggested was a little further than usual, and not one she went to often - which was the reason she picked it. If Teela was going to get her kicked out of somewhere, she didn't want it to be somewhere she'd miss.

The bar itself was nice enough. Teela, Tain, Clint and Tanner were all there. Caitlin made an appearance for the first round of drinks, which she bought, but left before long. The cider was sweet while she was drinking it, and she drank it until Clint and Tanner made their exit. Then Teela bought a bottle of tequila for the table.

'What made you want to be a midwife?' asked Teela. She had an expression of open curiosity on her face - Kaylin wasn't sure if it was put on for her benefit, or if she was getting better at reading Barranni expressions.

Kaylin was tipsy, but not so tipsy she couldn't sense a trap. She shrugged. 'I'm good at it. I like to help.' She took a shot. 'Your turn. Why did you want to be a Hawk?'

Teela shrugged. 'I'm good at it. I like to help.'

Kaylin thought that was fair. Teela continued 'Where did you live, before the foundling halls?'

She was probing for something. 'The Warrens in the lower city.' Kaylin wasn't going to own to growing up in the feifs, if her suspicions about the murders were correct. And, technically it was true - in the six months between leaving the fiefs and being deposited on the doorstep of the foundling hall, the she lived in the Warrens.

Teela took a shot. Kaylin matched her. Kaylin suspected this wasn't how Teela ran an interrogation - Kaylin had seen the predatory look on Teela's face as she went into the interrogation rooms. She'd also seen the white faces of the suspects who came out of those interrogation rooms. Still, it Kaylin thought Teela must be after something.

'What do you do with your free time?' was Teela's next question. Kaylin answered, with her fief-born instincts of hiding anything valuable, 'What free time?' and took another shot. It was nobody's damn business that she spent her free time at the foundling halls.

Kaylin didn't have a question in reply this time, or not one she was stupid enough to ask. Luckily, someone with a violin started up a jig and people started shoving tables and chairs out of the centre of the room. Everyone had consumed enough alcohol to dance.

Kaylin hopped of the stool. The world was unsteady for a moment, then settled. 'Do you two dance?' she asked Teela and Tain. They looked at each other with a grin - some inside joke there.

'Not this kind' Tain responded. Kaylin shrugged and made her way over to the crowd. It was a circle dance, the kind you could join as soon as someone pulled you in and turned you around to face the next partner. As soon as Kaylin got near, one of the burlier men hooked his arm through hers, and twirled her into the throng of dancers. Faces blurred as she hopped and kicked her feet in time to the beat.

After a few more dances, Teela came over to the crowd and pulled Kaylin out of the throng. 'Tain and I are leaving. We can walk you home.'

Kaylin's face was flushed with the effort an excitement of dancing, and the half bottle of Tequila she had consumed. She readjusted the stick in her hair to pull the loose strands away from her neck. 'No, I'm fine. I don't live too far away.'

Teela looked dubious, like she was weighing weather or not to toss Kaylin over her shoulder and cary her out. 'You're sure?'

'Yes!' without waiting for a response Kaylin turned back towards the dance. Her last glimpse of the two of them was Teela furiously whispering something to Tain as they left the bar.

Kaylin enjoyed the rythm and the movement of the dance. Sometimes she felt the fire in her veins, the need to move. Her youth had taught her the safest thing to do was run away from what scared her - and always it was immediate and obvious what the threat was. Now, she did not know which way to run, but wanted the ground to move beneath her feet. So, she danced.

Until her stomach reminded her that all this jumping about was not the best idea after all that tequila.

Kaylin stumbled away from the crowd in the centre of the room, towards one of the darker corners. The bar was hot and loud, and she needed a moment of quiet. The corner was already occupied. 'Oh, sorry', she said as she turned to leave.

His hand grabbed her wrist. 'No sweetheart, stay'.

A shiver ran down her spine, and her head cleared as she looked at the man who had her trapped. He was tall, pot-bellied, and the sheen to his eyes showed he'd drunk more than she had. Her breath caught in her throat, and fire roared in her veins.

_No. Not here._ Drunk and in a crowded room, she wouldn't be able to control the flame she summoned.

Instead, she took a breath, twisted her hand so the side of her wrist lined up with the tips of his fingers, and pulled.

As she took a step away, his arm snaked around her waist. A moment of panic hit her before she heard the thud of fist hitting flesh, and his hold loosened. She stepped away before turning to see what had happened.

Severn stood over the unconscious brute who tried to grab her. His expression as he looked down on the man was was one of cold fury. Looking at his face, Kaylin was surprised he'd struck with fists, and not any of the bladed weapons he wore.

Severn looked up at her, and took a step forward. 'Ellianne...'

Kaylin bent over and vomited on his shoes.

* * *

Kaylin woke in an unfamiliar bed. From the light of the single candle burning in the room, she could see it was heavy wood. The mattress was more comfortable than her own. She felt the pull of sleep, and the pounding in her head was almost in time with the music she could hear through the floors. She needed a glass of water.

She wasn't going to go exploring to get one. The last thing she remembered was looking up at Severn - the difference in heights smaller now, but not by much - and then a roaring in her ears as her balance failed her. She didn't remember hitting the ground.

She presumed she was in Severn's apartment. By the sound of the music coming through the floor, it was above the bar. Well done me.

She did try and get off the bed, which caused the wood to creak. She swore in the meagre leontine she picked up doing community service - Marrin definitely didn't swear at the Foundling Hall.

Severn opened the door, glass of water in hand. He approached her the way she would have approached a child new to the Foundling Hall. He put the water down on the table beside the bed.

Kaylin didn't take the glass immediately. She thought, and decided that if he wanted her dead, it wouldn't be poison. That, and she was thirsty.

Severn stepped back. 'Will you come with me?' he made towards the open door. Kaylin eyed off the window instead. It was still dark outside, she hadn't been unconscious long. She wondered if she could make it to the window before he could catch her. Severn saw where her gaze was directed and, as if reading her mind, said 'I'm on the top floor. You'd break something.'

Breaking something wasn't, in and of itself, the less appealing option. It did, however, undermine the viability of jumping out the window to escape if he could immediately catch her and drag her back upstairs.

She followed Severn out of the room. The music from downstairs stopped, which her head appreciated. He lead her down a short hallway to a living area filled with functional, but not comfortable, furniture. This was not the apartment of someone who spent a lot of time at home. It was still nicer than hers.

Severn sat on one of the solid chairs. Kaylin sat on the one furthest away from him.

'Ellianne…'

'I'm not…' Kaylin thought the better of correcting him. If she got away, he could look until he was blue in the face but he wouldn't find "Ellianne" anywhere in the city.

When it became clear she wasn't going to continue, he started again. 'Ellianne, let me explain…'

'No. What are you doing in the city?'

'I'm a Wolf. I am helping the Hawks investigate some deaths in Nightshade.'

The Wolves were the Emperor's executioners. The lie suited him, but that didn't make it any less a lie. 'You're working for the fieflord.'

'No, I'm not. I never have.'

'You're lying!' The water in her glass trembled. The candles in the corner flickered. Kaylin hoped that Severn didn't notice.

'Ellianne, I'm not here to hurt you.'

But he had. And he would. 'Are the deaths in Nightshade...are they the same?'

'Yes. They're happening quicker.'

Kaylin looked at her arms. Beneath the cloth of her sleeves, marks the same as those on murdered children in Nightshade pulsed.

This was about her. She didn't know why, or how, but it always had been. Even when it was other children found dead in the morning.

'I'm going back to Nightshade,' she said 'I'm going to figure out why this is happening.'

'No!' It was the first time he's dropped his cool mask. His eyes were narrowed and his jaw clenched. Kaylin wondered if he was angry or scared.

Well, she was angry. 'You can't stop me.'

'Yes I can. What do you think you can do that a trained Hawk can't?!'

'I'm from the feifs - I know them like they don't. I know the people.'

'So do I.'

'I don't trust you.'

He stilled. Everything she had done since waking up had shown she didn't trust him. She didn't understand why the words had any more power. 'I'm going to the feifs.'

'I'm going with you.'

'No, you're not!'

'Either I go with you or I lock you up at the Halls of Law for interfering with an investigation.'

'Son of a…'

What would have been some truly inventive cursing was interrupted by the door crashing inwards. Teela stood with one foot out in the hallway, and one foot on the door now lying on the floor. She looked at Kaylin and then at Severn. 'Everything okay here. Kaylin?'

'Yes. I was just leaving.' She thought she did a good job of striding out past Teela with head held high, considering how the door wobbled as she walked over it.

Severn didn't call out after her using either of her names.

* * *

Teela was intent on escorting her home. 'Why did you hang around?' asked Kaylin.

'Marcus would have my hide if I took you out to a bar, and something happened to you. Reflects poorly on the Hawks. Pull this shit when you go out with anyone else and you're on your own.'

Kaylin had to concede she'd made some poor choices. 'What made you come back in to look for me?'

'You didn't leave before the bar closed. There are only a few apartments above the bar, and only one with raised voices.'

'How much did you overhear?'

'Enough.' was Teela's spectacularly uninformative answer.

Teela stayed with Kaylin after they entered her building, all the way to the door of her apartment. 'Kaylin,' she started. Kaylin didn't look up from fiddling with her keys. 'Stay away from Severn, and stay away from the feifs.'

Kaylin knew she was a poor liar. 'I have no desire to see Severn again.'

Teela must have seen right through what she didn't say. Kaylin wondered if, as a Baranni, she respected the attempt to lie gracefully.

Teela sighed. 'See you in two days.'

Kaylin let herself into her apartment and crawled into bed. Her morning shift with the midwives was going to be bad enough, and her afternoon trip to the fiefs would be hell.

* * *

A/N: Hello! I'm still here.

Just thought I'd share a fun fact. The Nightshade family of plants are called 'Solanaceae". Nightshade's family name, prior to being made outcaste, was Solanace. I wonder if Nightshade chose his new name after being made outcaste, and his family line being surrendered?

Let me know your thoughts!


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